Memoir Time 5 - Identity Development (Draft - In Progress)

I Wonder....#4 (Draft - In Progress)

Memoir Time 4 - The Social Contract

List at least seven rules, laws, and policies (written and unwritten) designed to govern the behavior of the individuals within the society or community or group the writer is living in. Describe the rules and the consequences of violating them and/or the way the rules are maintained according to the writer.

1. Blacks do not date anyone else but blacks

This is obviously an unwritten rule, but a BIG one. In my last post, Obama's friend Ray talks about how he had asked out several girls of other races, to no avail. It is basically socially unacceptable to date a black person when you are white or Asian during this time, and Ray just overrides it because he wants a date. I feel bad for Ray, but Obama keeps telling him that it's because he's black in the nicest way possible. How much would it hurt to just be told, either directly or hidden within the context, that someone won't date you because of the color of your skin? Yikes.

2. Respect your elders

All throughout the book, Obama struggles with his relationship with his father, especially with the self-entitlement his father has to think he can dictate his son's life when he lives so far a way and is barely a part of his life.  I think that a lot of children, from Obama's generation and on, have a huge problem with authority and being controlled. My generation and the younger ones are even worse. No one listens to their parents, teachers, the police, no one. Take those kids mercilessly kicking those newly planted trees over! Not only do they not respect the people who planted the trees, they just don't have respect nature, and that's just sad. Always respect the elders.

3. Don't judge a book by its cover

4. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself or your race

5. Saying white people does not make you racist

6. "Hot piece of ass" or "bangable" is degrading to women and it's kind of sexist

7. Avoid confrontation with racists

I Wonder...#3

This book hops a lot, and it's honestly a little hard to follow. Obama doesn't really describe some vital details about what is going around him. How old is he during this point in time? What happened in between chapters 3 and 4 that made the story jump so much with no such warning? Some of it gets left out, leaving the reader a little flustered. He sometimes gives general descriptions, such as "young adult" or, "past high school age," but it's kind of hard to figure out sometimes with no context clues. Obama, at this point in the book, is very questioning of the life he had known his entire childhood, and is figuring out life very quickly. Then again, what person who has just been dropped off in the real world all on their own wouldn't? As the book goes on it gets a little easier to figure out, but still. Who leaves out details like that? Silly President.

Memoir Time 3 - Culture Defined

Often, the conflict in a coming-of-age memoir is that realization that there are dominant view and assumptions that form the belief system of many of the individuals in this society regarding the writer. Those assumptions can be based on gender, age, socioeconomic class, race, or ethnicity. Find at least 5 was in which the assumptions of those in the greater society shape how the write defines (or doubts) himself or herself. Describe how the writer struggles with those assumptions.

1. "I mean it this time," he was saying to me now. "These girls are A-1 USDA-certified racists. All of 'em. White girls. Asian girls - shoot, these Asians worse than the whites. Think we got a disease or something."(Pg 167 of 402)

Obama and his friend Ray, who was two years older than him, were talking at the lunch table and were checking a few girls out who has scoffed at the very sight of them and walked away over to a table of white males, who they proudly showed off in front of. This is the kind of behavior that shows that racism is prominent all around us, and Obama discusses that. He retaliates to Ray's comment with "Just because a gil don't go out with you doesn't make her a racist," to which Ray responds "Don't be thick, alright? I'm not just talking about one time. Look, I ask Monica out, she says no. I say okay....your shit's not that hot anyway. Next thing I know, she's hooked him with Steve 'No Neck' Yamaguchi, the two of 'em all holding hands and shit, like a couple of love birds. So fine - I figure there're more fish in the sea. I go ask Pamela out. She tells me she ain't going to the dance. I say cool. Get to the dance, guess who's standing there, got her arms around Rick Cook. 'Hi Ray,' she says, like she don't know what's going down." Obama sits there and laughs, but they both know that it indeed was the fact that Ray is black. Unfortunately, racism was really rampant in the 70s, and Obama reflects on that a lot so far throughout the book. He says that the racism he underwent as a teenager and young adult was awful, but it shaped him into the man that he is today and the reason he has the courage to stand up and be an African-America president.

2. "Only Malcom X's autobiography seemed to offer something different. His repeated acts of self-creation spoke to me; the blunt poetry of his words, his unadorned insistence on respect, promised a new and uncompromising order, martial in its discipline, forged through sheer force of will. All the other stuff, the talk of blue-eyed devils and apocalypse, was incidental to that program, I decided, religious baggage that Malcolm himself seemed to have safely abandoned toward the end of his life." (Pg 180 of 402)

By this point in time, Obama is an adult, and he's out on his own in the world. He's experiencing growing as a black man in America, who is completely independent from his family now and is on his own. He was looking for some sort of answer, and found it after reading his autobiography. It was this sort of coming-of age moment in his life that made him realize that with a lot of willpower and courage, you can defeat the racism and take your own place in society. That you can live in America as a black man and still get a job and live a happy life, just like any white man. The Civil Rights era had been over for 20 some years now, and Obama was thriving in the real world through the words of wisdom he had read from his hero.

3. "That was a truth as Rafiq saw it, and he didn't waste energy picking that truth apart. His was a Hobbesian world where distrust was given and loyalties extended from family to mosque to the balck race - whereupon notions of loyalty ceased to apply. This narrowing vision, of blood and tribe, had probided him with a clarity of sorts, a means of focusing his attention. Black self-respect had delivered the mayor's seat, he could argue, just as black self-respect turned around the lives of drug addicts under the tutelage of the Muslims. Progress was within our group so long as we didn't betray ourselves." (Pg 181 of 402)

Obama is now living in Chicago (Part Two of the book) and has formed sort of alliance with this man, Rafiq, for this internship he has earned with the city offices. In the past few pages, Obama is analyzing Rafiq and the type of person he is - a very proud man who believe that self-respect meant respect from others. Obama is trying to figure out this philosophy, as he had never looked at it from that viewpoint before. All he had dealt with his whole life was racism from whites and asians no matter what you did - no matter if you were a thug on the street or a well-dressed boy going to school in the morning, racism was prominent everywhere, and it was all because of something that can't really be controlled. Self-respect means respect from others? No always. In fact, I may just disagree with that. Sure, a person can respect themself, but that doesn't always mean they'll earn it from the general public. You not only have to have respect for yourself, but you need to show that you have it for others to get it returned. You have to give to get. Obama is seen to disagree with Rafiq's statement later on in the chapter.


4. "The mothers were all in their late teens or early twenties; most had spent their lives in Altgeld, raised by teenage mothers themselves. They spoke without self-consciousness about pregnancy at fourteen or fifteen, the dopping out of school, the tenuous links to the fathers who slipped in and out of their lives. They told me about working the system, which involved mostly waiting - waiting to see the social worker, waiting at the currency exchange to cash their welfare checks, waiting for the bus that would take them to the nearest supermarket just to buy diapers on sale. They were the masters." (Pg 214 of 402)

Obama is volunteering his time at Altgeld Gardens, a public housing project for poor or underprivileged people throughout Chicago. Most of the residents at this point in time are mothers in their mid to late teens, some of them being in their early 20s. This does not settle well with Obama, because he knows that while it is unfortunate that these mothers are suffering and struggling paycheck-to-paycheck, he realizes that they are taking a little bit too much advantage of the system. They do not always have the luxury of getting a job with no man around or supportive parents to take care of a young child, but that is not always the case. Obama finds this all very intriguing and he realizes later on that what he originally thought of these women was not true - they have ambitions. Some of them were taking classes for their high school equivalency diplomas. They supported themselves as well as the other women - some of the girls would watch others' children while they went to work or school, and vice versa. They didn't WANT to live there, and they tried their hardest to work hard and get out of there and try to make it work better the next time around. Obama did not have this positive viewpoint on struggling teen mothers before, but it all changed after working at Altgeld Gardens.

5. No, it was more like a change of atmosphere, like an electricity of an approaching storm. I felt it when, driving home one evening, I saw four tall boys walking down a tree-lined block idly snapping a row of young saplings that an older couple had just finished planting in front of their house. I felt it whenever I looked into the eyes of the young men in wheelchairs that had started appearing on the streets that spring, boys crippled before their prime, their eyes without a trace of self-pity, eyes so composed, already so hardened, that they served to frighten rather than to inspire (Pg 231 of 402)

Obama notices this unravel as he is on his way home one night. He describes this as something new - the arrival of a new equilibrium. Children didn't have much respect for elders or authority anymore, and Obama was in one of the transitioning generations of children in that respect. He writes about how in his generation, it wasn't that much of change, but in this most current generation, it has become a very large problem. When Obama was a child, kids knew their limits. They'd get into fights, they'd get high, but if an adult said something, and most of them would listen. That limit was starting to disappear very quickly for some of the country. It was a new time, and Obama reflected on it as a very eye-opening scene. He saw that most elders were a lot more bitter - that their looks were more stern and less full of stories to tell, but things to forget and hide. The strong exterior was now put on to scare away the younger generations that were breaking the ways that the elders had known for so long - a place of respect for the people older than you and for the things around them. Now, they're kicking down newly planted baby trees and laughing at the people in wheelchairs. So much is changing, and Obama wants to see that stop at this point.

I Wonder...#2

I have only read the first three chapters of the memoir so far, and these chapters are still exploring Obama's childhood and the relationship he had with his father before his passing when Obama had just got out into the world on his own and was starting to become a true-blue adult. For the most part he has been living with his grandparents (and his mother when she finally moves in with them). In Chapter Three, Obama is shocked to find out that his father is in town and staying for a whole month with the family. He meets his father for the first time coming home from school one day and he has a really hard time adjusting to him being around. Who would know what to say to a father you've never met and haven't ever spoken to? From what Obama recalls, he didn't really try to form a connection with his dad, even though it was stated that he did love and care about him. There was a blowup one evening when Obama was watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and his father threw a fit because he was watching television instead of studying, even though it was almost Christmas break and he had already done all of his homework. It really shows how much of a work-hungry person Barack Sr. is and how he wants his son to be exactly like him - a non-stop worker who is gifted and smart and always wanting to better himself. However, Obama does not want to go down this path, and that is very apparent from how he treats his father and assesses his actions and words. It sounds like this really is a coming-of-age part of Obama's life because he went from only hearing the good things about his father from the stories his family told him to make him sound noble and heroic to now being old enough to know that he does indeed have a lot of imperfections and is a hard person to get along with. As I keep reading, I find that from this experience Obama is learning how to live by his own example and from getting good guidance from his mother and grandparents - not his power-hungry father.

Memoir Time 2 (Draft - In Progress) - The Struggle...or Cognitive Dissonance

"He would always be like that, my grandfather, always searching for that new start, always running away from the familiar. By the time the family arrived in Hawaii, his character would have been fully formed, I think - the generosity and eagerness to please, the awkward mix of sophistication and provincialism, the rawness of emotion that could make him at once tactless and easily bruised. His was an American character, one typical of men of his generation, men who embraced the notion of freedom and individualism and the open road without always knowing its price, and whose enthusiasms could as easily lead to the cowardice of McCarthyism as to the heroics of World War II. Men who were both dangerous and promising precisely because of their fundamental innocence; men prone, in the end, to disappointment." (Pg 15 of 402)

This, to me, was a very touching quote because he reflects on his grandfather in a way that shows how much he really idolizes him and respects him; as if he were his father figure and the man that he could look up to for guidance and wisdom. You can feel the struggle Obama write with because I feel like he would want to say this about his father, but he can't. Not having a father in the decade Obama grew up in was not that common, and with his father gone, who else can he look to? His grandfather sounds like a wonderful man who Obama cares for very much and wants to be like when he grows up. It warms the heart to know that Obama, at least at this point in time in his life, has a male figure to look up to who's a constant in his life - not just a boyfriend of his mother's or someone he doesn't see often, but someone who will be there no matter what.

"It was in this context that I came across the picture in Life magazine of the black man who had tried to peel off his skin. I imagine other black children, then and now, undergoing similar moments of revelation. Perhaps it comes sooner for most - the parent's warning not to cross the boundaries of a particular neighborhood, or the frustration of not having hair like Barbie no matter how long you tease and comb, or the tale of a father's or grandfather's humiliation at the ands of an employer or cop, overheard while you're supposed to be asleep. Maybe it's easier for a child to receive the bad news in small doses, allowing for a system of defenses to build up - although I suspect I was one of the luckier ones, having been given a stretch of childhood free of self-doubt." (Pg 47 of 402)

"I went to my room and slammed the door, listening as the voices outside grew louder, Gramps insisting that this was his house, Toot saying that my father had not right to come in and bully everyone, including me, after being gone all this time. I heard my father say that they were spoiling me - that I needed a firm hand, and I listened to my mother tell her parents that nothing ever changed with them. We all stood accused, and even after my father left and Toot came in to say that I could watch the last five minutes of my show, I felt as if something had cracked open between all of us, goblins rushing out of some old, sealed-off lair. Watching the green Grinch on the television screen, intent on ruining Christmas, eventually transformed by the faith of the doe-eyed creatures who inhabited Whoville, I saw it for what it was: a lie. I began to count the days until my father left and things would return to normal." (Pg 63 of 402)

I Wonder...#1

The book opens up with Obama talking about his past; mostly about his father, Barack Obama Sr. Within the first few pages, Obama talks of when he was about 19 years old and living on his own when he gets a call from his Aunt in Africa, saying that his father had been killed. Obama never really knew his dad - he had just heard stories from his grandparents and his mother. From what Obama had heard, his father was born in Africa and was raised there until he was selected to go to college in America through a scholarship. That's where he met ' and the two were married and had Obama, but when Obama was just two years old, Barack Sr. moved across the country to get his Ph.D at Harvard after winning yet another scholarship. The mother and Obama were left back in Hawaii, never to see the father again. It's one of those noble stories where the father is made to look like a noble man so that a child would not know if that were really the case or not. Obama opened up with the tale of his father and how his relationship (or lack thereof) effects him because that is where his story starts - a little boy raised by his mother and grandparents, moving all across the United States just to have a chance at a good life after being left behind by a father who just wants a better life for himself (Plus, it IS the title - Dreams For My Father). The tale of his father sheds a little light on the kind of life Obama had as a young child, and I think it is a strong opening. While it might not be obvious to all readers, it still makes sense and I am excited to see where Obama goes with his story next.

Memoir Time 1 - Reflection

I think the time for me when I realized life was much bigger than myself was when 9/11 occurred. I was only 7 at the time, but it made me realize how hostile people were and how at any point in time, a tragedy could strike. Of course I really didn't understand the full story behind 9/11 and why the people who hijacked the plane did what they did, but it was still such a big impact on the United States that I felt sad and scared and from that point on I saw that not everyone was a good person. Another time that I got my first taste of the big picture was when everyone in my First Grade class got sent home with a slip of paper alerting all of the parents about a sex offender in the area who had kidnapped some little girl. My mom explained to me what that was all about, and I immediately became frightened. From that point on I was super cautious and even when I grew older I was super paranoid about being home alone and dealing with certain social and personal situations. Of course this fear rose at an alarming rate when in Second Grade we watched a film on molestation - it was about a boy who was really close with his uncle and who eventually started getting molested and was threatened not to tell his mom about any of. The boy finally did tell his mom, but I just found it very scary and sometimes hard to trust adults. That entire year from First Grade to Second Grade really influenced my view on life. I still of course behaved like normal and enjoyed doing all of the things I loved, like going to school (I loved school up until about the 7th grade), playing with all of my favorite toys and letting my imagination run wild, and spending time with my friends and family, but sometimes those thoughts would creep into my mind and I would become scared. I dreaded being alone in a public place for a long time and to this day I have major fears about flying on a plane, but some of the fears I have grown out of. I have lived in the same place my entire life, and that helped me to overcome the fear as well.  However, I was quite timid during my teen years in middle school because of our neighbors who live near the railroad tracks, about a mile down from my house. My best friend since I was two years old, Liz, used to live about a mile and 2/10 (we counted one day) away from me, on the other side of this house by the railroad tracks. These people that lived there were about as redneck as you can get and they had about 9 people living in a very tiny, run-down house. They housed a few different sex offenders over the years, and Liz's mom worked the night shift at a nursing home in Cedar Rapids, and whenever I was over there, we were usually left alone for the bulk of the night, since Liz's older siblings were moved out of the house and Liz's mom was a single mother. It was very scary to be alone in a house out in the middle of nowhere and hear the wind bang on the door or a window, or seeing a shadow lurking out in the year or in the field. I was almost glad when they moved out of the area for that reason only. Now I know all of the people who live in my area (I live out in the country, in between two small towns), and that helps to know that I can trust everyone there. I had outgrown most of my outstanding fears about being molested, kidnapped, killed, or sexually assaulted, but some of them still linger as a young female college student living in one of the worst places in Cedar Rapids. However, I still am brave and try to hide the fear.

Blog Post 4 - The Color of Fear

The Color of Fear was a great way to end our talk on racism and racial identity. I thought it was very interesting the way each man thought of himself. When David Lee said he referred to himself as "An American Man" although he was Asian, I thought that was very cool. He was indeed Asian, but since he was born and raised here in American, he identifies as American. It flip flops, too. Some people were born and raised in America, yet refer to themselves as Native American, Asian, or Latino. Every man had a different way of identifying with their race, especially Victor. I could write an entire blog post about Victor if I wanted to. Good Lord, that man has a lot of pent up frustration towards the white man. He talked (more like screamed) about how racism is not just white people looking down on minorities, but also the minorities using that as their weapon to gain self-righteousness and rights. I thought that was very humble of him to say, especially for how passionate he was. There are not many black people who would be willing to admit that everyone is at fault, not just white people.
     Another person who really got to me was David C. How ignorant to race can a person be? In my opinion, growing up in a small town is not an excuse to be oblivious to the racial problems here in the United States. I came from a small town myself, and I was fully aware at a young age that there were multiple issues with race. He states at one point that we are all equal and everyone should be treated the same, to which the entire group attacks him. One of the men says that he is insulted when he is referred to as American when he is clearly Chinese; and of course, Victor throws in his two cents about the whole ordeal. At one point, David C breaks down and cries because he feels victimized and about how he didn't realize how his viewpoint and what he was saying was all sorts of messed up. At the end, they came to the conclusion that all men are equal, but definitely not treated the same, and in some cases, that's okay. This was a great video to open up people's eyes about how regular men of different ethnicities think about others and see others. Of course, some of the men got along really well, and others did not. David C was clearly the scapegoat in all of this and everyone's punching bag, but at the same time, he made himself sound really stupid and was almost asking for it. Most of the points he made were totally invalid and it created a lot of face-palms for me, personally. For the most part, he was colorblind to how others are treated, and his "why can't we just get along" tactic was not working out for him because it is much deeper than that. I hope after that experience he has been getting along a lot better. Good God...

Blog Post 3 - Black History Month For White People

I do have to say, I think that "ModPrimate" is a genius. He went off on a tangent (and a very logical tangent, at that) about how some people are totally ignorant to the fact that Black people have their own month for a reason. "All Men" in the Declaration of Independence clearly did not mean "all human kind," it meant all rich, white men. I had never thought about that before, and that was not something that was taught in any of the history classes I took in my prior education. He hits the nail on the head with the fact that all men are born into different privileges, no matter how prominent Civil Rights are today and no matter how long slavery has been over. Being born a different race does put you into a certain financial class, for sure. There are plenty of exceptions, but it's easier for a black family to become poor in this country than it is for a white person. He also talks about how easy it is for him to get a job because he is white and the man interviewing him is white; having no preconceived notions about ModPrimate, he would find it simple to just ask him a few questions and, if they are valid answers, hire him on the spot. We as white people don't have to worry about how our ethnicity is going to effect us in the world of work, among other aspects of life. Racism is present in all races - black people are racist against whites, too. Attitudes are formed against other people based on interactions, not always based on race, gender, or sexual orientation. However, we gave black people their own month because it reflects on how their culture grew in the United States, and instead of people wondering why we don't have a white history month, we can take the other 11 months of the year to reflect on how good it is to be white in the United States. This guy gets it!

Blog Post 2 - The Danger of a Single Story

I found it interesting that she started out her story by comparing foreign children's books to those of her own country, Nigeria. It's kind of strange how their can be such a mental shift in interpretation of books and fiction just by switching from one country to the next. I do enjoy how that gave her hope that people like her could be a character in a book, not just the type of character found in any American children's book. Now that I think back on it, I do sort of remember how American children's books are - usually a white child with both parents, usually a sibling. A small conflict arises, but is always resolved. Seeing that books can be so different at a young age like that has to be highly beneficial because it increases that child's perception of the world from then on. The more she talked, the more truth in what she said was apparent.

I thought that her thesis was very well done in the sense that she had a lot of knowledge to back up what she was saying, whether it be her stories or actual facts. The fact that her roommate in college only had one impression of Africa and one way of thinking about all Africans was astounding, but when Chimamanda stated that "she would only see one story too if she had never been to Africa." She does defend the faults of her roommate and didn't take offense, which I found amazing. What she says is true, though: we do have so many single stories that can "define" a whole person or group before you even know them. I know I have even been an offender: I have seen people around campus who I don't really know, but just by having one encounter or hearing one thing about them, I make up my mind about what I think of them. It doesn't happen often, but I have done it. People from all walks of life and all races are guilty of it - French people think we are lazy and fat as Americans, and we think the French are a bunch of uptight snobs. It happens! Chimamanda is brilliant, and I agreed with the bulk of what she said and the message that she conveyed.

Blog Post 1 - Concerted Cultivation

"Think of a time when you benefited from concerted cultivation AND/OR a time when you were subject to accomplishment of natural growth."

Before I was even in elementary school, my mom threw me into dancing lessons at the rec center in Cedar Rapids. I was in ballet and tap dancing and even though I don't necessarily remember it all too well, I remember liking tap dancing and I wish I would have continued to do it. However, I think it taught me to try new things and not be afraid of doing activities, especially since I was very shy when I was little and I was just thrown into a class of people that I didn't even know. I was barely comfortable with the people in my preschool, let alone different kids from different towns. It was a new experience, but I think I liked it. Ever since my mom hasn't thrown me into anything; if I wanted to do something or join a sport, group, or leisure activity, my parents encouraged me to try it and were supportive of me the entire way through. The tap dancing and ballet lessons taught me the sense of natural growth that I have come to know. It was so long ago, but I believe that combined with my parents nurturing taught me that I can chose what activities I want to do and no matter what, my parents will be proud of me.