"He would always be like that, my grandfather, always searching for that new start, always running away from the familiar. By the time the family arrived in Hawaii, his character would have been fully formed, I think - the generosity and eagerness to please, the awkward mix of sophistication and provincialism, the rawness of emotion that could make him at once tactless and easily bruised. His was an American character, one typical of men of his generation, men who embraced the notion of freedom and individualism and the open road without always knowing its price, and whose enthusiasms could as easily lead to the cowardice of McCarthyism as to the heroics of World War II. Men who were both dangerous and promising precisely because of their fundamental innocence; men prone, in the end, to disappointment." (Pg 15 of 402)
This, to me, was a very touching quote because he reflects on his grandfather in a way that shows how much he really idolizes him and respects him; as if he were his father figure and the man that he could look up to for guidance and wisdom. You can feel the struggle Obama write with because I feel like he would want to say this about his father, but he can't. Not having a father in the decade Obama grew up in was not that common, and with his father gone, who else can he look to? His grandfather sounds like a wonderful man who Obama cares for very much and wants to be like when he grows up. It warms the heart to know that Obama, at least at this point in time in his life, has a male figure to look up to who's a constant in his life - not just a boyfriend of his mother's or someone he doesn't see often, but someone who will be there no matter what.
"It was in this context that I came across the picture in Life magazine of the black man who had tried to peel off his skin. I imagine other black children, then and now, undergoing similar moments of revelation. Perhaps it comes sooner for most - the parent's warning not to cross the boundaries of a particular neighborhood, or the frustration of not having hair like Barbie no matter how long you tease and comb, or the tale of a father's or grandfather's humiliation at the ands of an employer or cop, overheard while you're supposed to be asleep. Maybe it's easier for a child to receive the bad news in small doses, allowing for a system of defenses to build up - although I suspect I was one of the luckier ones, having been given a stretch of childhood free of self-doubt." (Pg 47 of 402)
"I went to my room and slammed the door, listening as the voices outside grew louder, Gramps insisting that this was his house, Toot saying that my father had not right to come in and bully everyone, including me, after being gone all this time. I heard my father say that they were spoiling me - that I needed a firm hand, and I listened to my mother tell her parents that nothing ever changed with them. We all stood accused, and even after my father left and Toot came in to say that I could watch the last five minutes of my show, I felt as if something had cracked open between all of us, goblins rushing out of some old, sealed-off lair. Watching the green Grinch on the television screen, intent on ruining Christmas, eventually transformed by the faith of the doe-eyed creatures who inhabited Whoville, I saw it for what it was: a lie. I began to count the days until my father left and things would return to normal." (Pg 63 of 402)
No comments:
Post a Comment